Uncluttered Desk, Uncluttered life

Clutter really, really stresses me out.  I know this about myself, yet, despite last week’s rant about taking care of us (the caregiver), I had a very messy desk going into the week…actually, it was a mess since the new year.  I was also VERY stressed – like, experiencing physical symptoms of stress.  It’s true, I juggle a lot.  My “big items” include:

1. Taking care of two kids with special needs (Scoliosis), one that I am flying out of town with next week to get a new brace!
2. Managing a business that supports and comforts Scoliosis patients
3. Playing in a great band (My fun!…but still work)
4. Taking Karate classes with my son
5. Heading up my son’s First Tech Robotics team at school
6. Getting my daughter to her many events
7. In some times of the year, being in or helping to direct Musical Theater
8. Trying to eat well and exercise (a constant time commitment)
9. ETC

But, the fact is – we ALL juggle a lot.  And, the stress really takes a toll.  A wise person said to me on Tuesday “What CAN you do, right now, to reduce your stress?”  Well, she also told me to STOP TAKING ON MORE STUFF, but I have already been trying to do that (I have this thing about honoring my commitments, though, so it takes time)  Anyway….my answer to her was that I really needed to get my office organized and my desk cleared off.  It seemed like too simple of a task to really have benefit, but, when I vocalized it, I realized that it would help a  lot. And, I needed more photos of kittens in my office and a cute kitten notebook to write my to do list on, but that is besides the main point here.  So, that day, I invested a bit of money in organizing tools (and a kitten calendar and notebook, of course), and, now, Friday evening, I can say that I left my office with just as much to do, but much less stress about it. Walking into my office makes me feel peaceful and productive instead of crushed by stress.

But, this is just what works for me…today.  This isn’t going to work for everyone.  But, the fact remains that sometimes we need to pause, take stock of what ONE SIMPLE THING we can do to feel like we are more in control of the crazy to-do list, and take the time to do that one thing.  Those of you dealing with a new diagnosis of any illness, whether it be Scoliosis or another malady, may feel completely overwhelmed with information, data, questions, fears…you name it. But, just remember that your person won’t be healed (or completely fall apart) in one day. Or one week.  Take a few moments to think of what YOU need to feel more in control, and take on that one item, so that you can better deal with the mountain you have to climb.  You may find that it’s just what you need to get over the initial ridge.

EDIT: by the way, a great tool that I also use for organization is TRELLO.  Look it up – it’s an app for your phone or tablet, too, and you can organize your life into “boards” and each board has “cards” and each card has a list – you can put employees on there, family members, etc. And, you can coordinate projects and information.  Great tool, and it’s free.  You can find videos about it online.  Happy organizing…

 

Who cares for the caregiver?

We, as Moms (and Dads), have all heard it before – the proverbial “put your oxygen mask on first” scenario.  It is hard enough as a parent to act on this, though, and much harder for those of us that are taking care of kids with special needs.  We KNOW we should be taking care of ourselves, because we KNOW that NOBODY else will if we don’t, but we still have lists full of calls to make, research to do, appointments to schedule…plus regular life…it’s endless.

I am here to remind you, though, that it is important.  You MUST give yourself permission to take care of yourself.  It’s a new year and we all have those new resolutions floating around.  As ALWAYS, mine is to win the fight over my eating, to loose those pounds that have been haunting me for years.  But, let me tell you, it takes WORK and, often, I have to let other things go so that I can meal plan, cook healthy, etc.  And, sometimes (bad Mother alert here)…I have to let go of trying to make my kids eat as healthy as possible so that I can continue to eat healthy.  Yes, yes…I know…the kids should eat what I eat. But, as wonderful as my kids are, I always win the “my kid is a more picky eater than yours” showdown, and some days it’s HARD to pick that battle.  So, I can spend hours trying to win the battle with them, or I can continue to chip at the war within me. Sometimes I can’t do both.  It’s tough to accept that I have to sometimes literally put my health over my kids’ health. What kind of Mother does that?  Well, the kind that realizes that I am the ONLY one who is going to prioritize my own health. And, the kind that realizes that, in the big picture, a healthy Mom will better be able to help her kids be healthier.  I lose a few battles in order to win the ultimate war.  I invite you to become my battle ally – let’s encourage each other in our daily battles of fighting Scoliosis, or whatever other issue plagues our children.  Because, hopefully if we keep reminding each other, eventually we will give ourselves that permission to look out for #1 just a little bit more.

Focusing on the important in 2017

Hi everyone.  I must admit, I’ve been lax.  The last few months have been a flurry of insane activity, as we deal with normal life with a middle-schooler and a high-schooler, and two parents with demanding careers.  Add to that a large boom in business (thanks to all you Scoliosis warriors that have tried and enjoyed our products!)…and, well, certain things (like this blog), unfortunately, fell to the wayside.  When busyness sets in, it seems nobody is safe from turning away from the “important” things and focusing on the “urgent”.

One of the required reading pieces in my college Entrepreneurship class was Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  The concepts in this book have always stuck with me (and I probably need to re-read it), but one of the points I remember most is the concept of the “important” vs. the “urgent”.  You can read more on that HERE, but, basically, the important things are those that have great benefit in the long run – those that help us achieve our goals.  And, urgent tasks are those that have immediate consequences if not done.  Sometimes urgent tasks can be important (crying baby, anyone?), but it’s the important tasks that are NOT urgent that are easy to push by the wayside.  For me, that is healthy eating, spending quality time with those I love, and nurturing relationships with other Scoliosis families.

We are all guilty of it – we let our health slide, our friendships fade, our spiritual development fall to the wayside, in the pursuit of a few moments apart from the never-ending “to do” list.  But, as I was driving today from one activity to the next, I realized that ignoring those important things will eventually come back around to haunt us.  Our energy fades as we ignore our health, loneliness sets in when we ignore our relationships, and, when trials hit, we forget how to cope when we let our spiritual development lag.

Our family had been moving at a crazy pace for months, when we decided to head to Ann Arbor, Michigan in late December for 24 hours of family fun.  We were combining a little get-away with the kids’ annual Scoliosis checks.  We figured our years on “hiatus”, that we had become so used to, would continue.  We knew that our son had a tremendous growth spurt this year (3 inches!), but his curves had been so minimal for so long – I just got used to the comfortable place of moving outside the Scoliosis world.  But, alas, our hiatus is over – our son’s curves have increased.  Thankfully only to 25 degrees, but still substantial enough that we need to go back to nighttime bracing.  After over 3 years of no bracing for either child, we are headed on a trip back out to see Luke at the National Scoliosis Center to get a shiny new brace.  BAM, our crazy frenetic pace has been interrupted, as we are brought back into the Scoliosis world full-force.  Mind you, I never really leave it – I am in it, day in and day out, as I help OTHER families through their struggles.  But, now, just as I became complacent when it came to our own family, we are back into it with a vengeance.  And, it reminded me that I have to focus on the important things, as I tackle the urgent. I need to continue to reach out to you, my virtual Scoliosis family, as our immediate family journey continues.  I pledge to write to you more, and I hope you write to me more.  Feel free to reach out through this blog or through my EmBraced In Comfort facebook page. Let’s continue to support each other, as we resolve to live our crazy, frantic everyday lives, while dealing with the important task of treating and improving our Scoliosis.